Constantly falling short, but always redeemed. Regularly crossing lines, but always
pardoned. Once on a path bound for
death, promised the road to life. Why a
Christ follower worries and struggles at all is evidence of the way of
humanity. Should a person who has found
the source of hope beyond imagination not be overflowing with feelings of affection
and joy, holding forever strong in the world of the weak? What a restless question. For some time I felt physically restrained by
it in this month that I have not written anything. Thus, I did what merits a promised answer from
God, and cried out to him – his track record in delivering on promises is
pretty good after all (Psalm 34:17).
Some of those who have an existing
relationship with the most important figure in human history – Jesus Christ,
the only one through which salvation for any of us can be attained – are
burdened with what they believe to be a lack of consistent passion and love for
a sovereign Lord. For some time this has
been a recurring observation, not only in my brothers and sisters, but also in
myself.
What could
be wrong with us, the seemingly select few who are isolated in lack of
feeling? Could it be that we do not
actually love the Lord in whom we claim to believe? Mulling over this thought further sickens a
troubled believer, stirring up anxiety that compels us to try with the very
depths of our being to physically conjure up some type of love for our
God. This is a vain pursuit we
disturbingly find, and we can’t help but feel dirty, distant, and doomed by
absence of affection.
Quickly do
Christians forget in human naivety that there is always hope. Surely God understands and has factored in
this rare difficulty that has befallen some of his children! Let me rid the air of any mystery – he
knows. In fact, he knows that a human
being physically manufacturing affection for God and righteousness on his own
power is as farfetched an endeavor as man’s attempt at his own salvation. And here unravels another part of the mystery:
this problem isn’t a rarity, but a commonality.
The fault is always with us. Playing the blame game is never advisable –
as much as God has been the target of attempted blame, the actual fault has
never been his. After all, between God
and us, we are the only party capable of misinterpreting and
confusing truth. And in the present
case, we have misinterpreted an aspect of faith and love for God.
As frequent as the sun rises, our feelings
can deceive us. They can convince us that our faith rides on
our feelings to the point that we are sitting, worrying about whether we love
God or not. Faith is not feeling – if it
hinged on something as sporadic and inconsistent as human emotion, we would be
quite short of hope. When Jesus says,
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all
your mind,” He is talking about a love much more meaningful than mere feelings
(Matthew 22:37 NIV).
C.S. Lewis’
designates love for God and others as an affair of the will in Mere Christianity.
“Love, in
the Christian sense, does not mean an emotion.” Lewis explains, “It is a state
not of the feelings but of the will; that state of the will which we have
naturally about ourselves, and must learn to have about other people.” He goes on to highlight the difference
between Christian love and liking or affection, explaining that the way to love
God and others like Christians believe they ought, is not to try and construct
these feelings on their own. If we have
the desire to love God, we should try to live like we do instead of fearing
that we lack this love.
“Nobody can
always have devout feelings: and even if we could, feelings are not what God
principally cares about…” Lewis says, “…If we are trying to do his will we are
obeying the commandment, ‘Thou shalt love the Lord thy God.’ He will give us feelings of love if he
pleases” (p. 109-111).
Times in which we have these
feelings of love are heavenly gifts, but the frequency of them is never
something we should base our spiritual well being upon, unless we want to
associate our “current status with God” with rollercoaster-like ups and
downs. Believing that we are less of a
Christian to struggle with conjuring up feeling for the gospel is to believe a
lie from hell. The greatest commandment in
scripture cannot and will not hinge on something as flaky as human emotion, a
regular in fluctuating between blossoming affection and disappointing lack
thereof.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is
not proud. It does not dishonor others,
it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of
wrongs. Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth. It always
protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (NIV).
Love does a lot of things.
Notice, however, that “feels” isn’t listed before any of them. It seems then, that love, for us, involves
chasing after all of these things even when we don’t FEEL like chasing after
them. If a man other than Jesus himself
claims that he feels like doing all of these things unconditionally, he is
lying.
It is not upon our feelings that
God wishes us to focus anyway, but instead on his love for us that is unending
and without condition, as well as his grace that covers all that we lack. If all of this were about feelings, there
would be no hope for man. If we are not
particularly motivated, feeling indifferent and distant, but we fight this part
of our nature because we want to love God, serve him, and see his will done, we
are obeying what he calls us to in scripture.
To see faith and love for what they are, we must know that “the heart is
deceitful above all things,” (Jeremiah 17:9 NIV) sometimes telling us that
faith and love are feelings and discouraging us if we lack the proper emotions.
If faith were feeling, salvation
would be by grace through feeling as well. Praise
God it’s not, or I’d be doomed by tomorrow – Monday morning can be hard on the
feelings.
Grace & Peace,
J. S. Wade
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